By Selena Bush
When I started at Roosevelt, I knew it was going to be one of the most difficult experiences I have ever put myself through. I knew it would be hard, not because of the regular difficulties that come with college like the difficult assignments or balancing a school and social life. I knew that the hardest part for me would be working full time and balancing having to work more than forty hour weeks with going to class, doing assignments and getting enough sleep to be functional in class. In my previous post here I explained that I started school again at twenty two years old. I had no financial backing from my parents, I had rent and bills to pay and I was solely responsible for every financial burden in my life. I was scared. How would I be able to finish in four years when I have to make sure to work a certain amount of hours to afford to live? My first two years were very hard to navigate. My freshman year I worked as a nanny and I would start my day at five am. I started work at six am, got my charges ready and dropped off at school by 8:30am and rushed to my classes for the day. After class, I picked the kids up then did not leave work until about seven pm usually and did not get home until 8:30pm usually. That schedule does not even include my hours as a Science Peer Advisor. Sophomore year got even worse with COVID and having to pick up another job, so I worked about 80-90 hour weeks as a nanny, receptionist and advisor. I was not sure how I would get through especially when I still had to participate in class and make it to the lab. I was not participating like I should have, I had to miss a lab or two and I was not telling my professors my circumstances so they were doubting my dedication to my education. I needed understanding and help. I needed their understanding and help but I also needed to understand my own circumstances. I was holding myself to the standards of my peers who, for some, did not have as many responsibilities, they did not have to work full time, they had more time to study. I was telling myself that there are many people who have had my circumstances and not cracked under the pressure. But what I needed to understand was that I was not one in a million, I was also not my peers. I was Selena, a person who needed help, who might need extra time, or maybe just slack on zoom participation where I do not have to speak but maybe can type in the chat. I also had to understand that unless I spoke up, professors would not know my circumstances, they would not know everything that sat on my shoulders. They look at me as a student like other college students, they assume I am having the traditional college experience. Understanding myself and them gave me the strength to actually talk to professors one on one and tell them what I had going on and actually feel their empathy and get help. I say strength here because I am a prideful person who will not usually ask for help even when I need it and it takes strength to know when to ask for help. Now that I got over that hump it became so much easier moving from my junior to senior year to ask for help when I need it, and to succeed in class. College prepares you in so many ways academically but I never thought about how it prepares you to move through the world and interact with people. University taught me that I could do it but you also never stop needing a village to help you succeed.
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